1 BULL660cc4 SEATS0 EXITS
TOO MUCH BULL.NOT ENOUGH CAR.
A full-size bull with a micro-size parking strategy. Two horns through the roof, four tiny tires, and one impossible commute. $KEIBULL doesn’t need a bigger car — the car needs stronger self-belief.
FIG. 1 — OCCUPANT SEATED
SECTION 01 — OWNER’S ACCOUNT
THE COMMUTE
Seven things happened between the dealership and the office. He was three minutes late for all of them.
- 01
THE DEALERSHIP
He requested the smallest, most economical car available. The salesman pointed at a mint-green microcar and announced, proudly, that it seats four. Kei Bull was roughly the size of four.
- 02
HORN NO. 1
Went through the roof by accident. A clean puncture. The dealership called it ventilation and did not reduce the price.
- 03
HORN NO. 2
Added for symmetry. This one was on purpose, which is the part nobody has been able to explain since.
- 04
THE CABIN
His shoulders became the side airbags. The steering wheel disappeared somewhere beneath his hooves and has not been seen. He now drives by intention.
- 05
IGNITION
The engine started. The suspension made a thoughtful noise — the sound of a small vehicle quietly reconsidering its entire career.
07 — THE DOOR. He has never complained about the legroom. Nobody has ever seen him successfully open the door.
SECTION 02 — THE FIT TEST
CRAM HIM IN
Kei regulations allow 3.395 m of length, 1.475 m of width and 2.000 m of height. Kei Bull allows none of this. Drag every part of him into the cabin and see how much of him the car can legally claim.
SECTION 03 — SPECIFICATION
SPEC SHEET
Everything the brochure would tell you, printed at the same size whether it is good news or not.
| Dimension | Kei limit | Kei Bull | Result |
|---|---|---|---|
| Length | 3.395 m | 3.400 m | OVER BY 5 mm |
| Width | 1.475 m | 1.480 m (shoulders) | OVER |
| Height | 2.000 m | 2.310 m (horns) | ROOF BREACHED |
| Displacement | 660 cc | 660 cc | COMPLIANT |
| Occupants | 4 | 1 (equivalent to 4) | DISPUTED |
| Doors opened | 2 | 0 | UNRESOLVED |
INSTRUMENT CLUSTER
AWAITING CONTRACTThe cluster wakes up when the contract goes live and Dexscreener finishes indexing it. Until then the needles rest.
SECTION 04 — DRIVING LESSON
HOW TO BUY
Four steps. Three of them are easier than getting out of the car.
- 1
GET A WALLET
Install Phantom or any Solana wallet. It fits in a pocket, which already makes it roomier than the cabin.
- 2
FUEL UP WITH SOL
Buy SOL on any exchange and send it to your wallet. 660cc of it is plenty.
- 3
SWAP FOR $KEIBULL
Paste the contract into pump.fun or Jupiter and swap. Check the address twice; horns are non-refundable.
- 4
PARK IT
Hold. Watch the chart clear the speed bump. Do not attempt the door.
SECTION 05 — NAVIGATION
THE ROUTE
A roadmap, in the only unit Kei Bull respects: distance still to travel.
LEAVE THE DEALERSHIP
Launch on pump.fun. Reverse out slowly. The mirror is a shoulder, so this is done entirely by feel.
CLEAR THE BUMP
Chart goes live, Dexscreener indexes, the instrument cluster wakes. All four wheels leave the road.
MERGE
Community, memes, sticker packs with a horn-shaped hole in them. Holders arrive from every lane at once.
THE DOOR
One day it opens. Not today. Possibly not ever. He has never complained about the legroom.
GET IN. THERE IS NO ROOM.
Four seats, one bull, and an open invitation. $KEIBULL is a community of people who looked at an obviously bad idea and said: keep driving.